Wednesday, November 10, 2010

How I became afraid of the Nigerian Police Force (Part 1)

I have a pathological and oftentimes debilitating fear of the Nigerian Police Force. (Please note that 'Force' has been officially removed from their name, but almost all the badges on the policemen I encounter still bear it). Every time I happen on one of the 'men in black' who are charged with 'protecting the nation' - particularly when they are armed - I go weak at the knees!
I have my fair share of fears, some of which are that: I dislike dogs (with a passion); I get really dizzy in elevators, and I HATE heights. However, in the past three months – the fear of the police has gone from being virtually non-existent to becoming the dominant fear on my horizon.
I do not have to look far to identify the reason for this new fear, and here I will tell you the story of how I became afraid of the Nigerian Police.
A few months back I led prayers at the weekly prayer meeting of the Student Christian Movement – and in my usual style – every fibre of my being was involved. I spent about five hours preparing to speak for forty-five minutes, and at the end of it all I was exhausted. On getting back to Finetouch (where I stay in town) I promptly went to sleep (about 10.30pm) with my shoes on! Yes and there were two other people in the room with me who stayed awake to get some work done on their laptops.
The sleep was peaceful, and uneventful (except for that one fine girl was chasing me in one of my dreams), until about 2.00am when I was woken by a sharp jab to my right leg. I shifted in my sleep – without opening my eyes – in the hope that whoever was responsible for the pain would let off. However, the pain came back, sharper and was accompanied by a gruff voice saying "wake up young man".
I opened my eyes, and almost immediately collapsed in fright – there was a man in mufti with an AK-47 rifle! (Trust me, I know an AK when I see one – I have played enough first-person shooter games!) The jabbing pain on my leg was from him trying to wake me up by MILDLY hitting me with the gun!!!
"You sleep too much; wake up wake up wake up"!!!
Needless to say, I jumped off the bed in one motion – and made for the entrance to the room – (a reflexive but stupid action that I now think was directed at escape).
The man restrained me, forcibly, and asked calmly "where are you going"?

This is real life o, not in any way fictional! I have decided to break it into two parts because I'm getting 'block' and editing the latter part is becoming burdensome... Check back, will ya?)


  1. why delete the comments then ?

    censure ?

  2. waiting for part 2, hmmm...

  3. @Anonymous... I did not delete the comment, I actually changed the blog thread. There were a few issues with some of the content, including the reason why I was splitting it into 2 (which is actually stated above). I am blogging (this particular article) from my phone - and thats responsible for the 'issues'... Glad you like it anyway (cause you checked back and noticed your comment was gone). Plus, you used the word folks, right? I think I know who you are!

  4. @Myne Whitman... Thanks for dropping by, once again. Part Two should be up later today (provided PHCN decides to 'release' the light, and I don't run ino any more policmen)... :D