Life Lately: Redeeming the time, habit stacking, and a gift for you

There were some really, really, beautiful days this week

Four weeks ago, at the end of January, I started that post by saying January felt like it zoomed by. I could say the same thing about February. In fact, when I woke up this morning, I thought to myself “how is it another Sunday already?”.

In St. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he asks them to make the very most of their time on earth, recognizing and taking advantage of each opportunity and using it with wisdom and diligence. Whenever I feel like time is flying by, like I do today, I stop for a moment and ask if I am making the most of every day that passes.

The answer is never yes. Like most other people, I have good days and bad ones. Sometimes I bring my A-game and power through the day, other times I’m low on energy and slow waltz through the hours. I now think of St. Paul’s exhortation as an ideal, something to strive for on the journey to being better with each day that passes.

Life Lately: My first snowman and rediscovering a sense of play

My first snowman. I promise subsequent ones will be cuter.

I have been trying to play more lately. My natural tendency is to take things seriously and that is no fun, so I’ve been looking for opportunities to rediscover the sense of play I lost as I transitioned into an early adolescence. So, when it snowed recently and it occurred to me to make a snowman, I shut down my first reaction – which was “but I should continue reading this book about Index Funds”.

The idea of making a snowman and the reality of making a snowman turned out to be different. First, we didn’t have a lot of snow so I needed to shovel the snow on our balcony with a dustpan. Second, I didn’t realize I couldn’t just wear any gloves. I couldn’t compact the snow no matter how hard I tried in gloves and my fingers got wet very quickly. So I took them off and went with my bare hands.

It’s definitely not a handsome snowman but that doesn’t matter to me. What matters is that for those five to ten minutes when I scurried around looking for buttons for the eyes, a Sharpie to draw on the smile, and a bamboo skewer for the arms, I felt like the happy child I remember from the 90s.

Life Lately: A life on our planet

Unblocking gutters that had been clogged for years as part of the Sanitation Corps. Picture taken by a friend during my National Youth Service in Lagos.

When I was 13, I tried to invent a process for recycling plastic. There was a stream in our area that I had crossed on my way to school since I was about 4, and I had seen the stream go from clear water with lovely little fishes and tadpoles to filthy water packed full of plastic waste. Being slightly nerdy, I started scouring the library for relevant material and attempting to melt and reform plastic at home. I did not succeed and I ultimately gave up after a month or so to do more ‘fun’ things – like text Westlife lyrics to girls at school.

I have since learnt this was playing out across the world, and in fact had started decades before I observed it. I have also learnt the problem transcended the amount of waste we were creating and how we were discarding it. It extended to hunting animals to extinction on land and in the sea, cutting down swathes of forest, and burning huge volumes of fossil fuels. The earth had become ours, run by humankind for humankind, with little left for the rest of the living world.

I have just finished A Life on Our Planet, a brilliant book by David Attenborough. I had seen the Netflix documentary, but it was picked by my book club at work so I bought a copy and read through it over the past week. In this brilliant book, Sir Attenborough describes how the world has changed in his lifetime (he’s 94) and lays out a vision for rewilding the world and restoring its biodiversity.

Life Lately: On using my phone more mindfully

January feels like it zoomed by. I can’t believe it’s already a month since I sat on the sofa, coffee in hand, and reflected on which habits I wanted to continue prioritizing this month. At the end of the exercise, this list included things like: using my phone more mindfully, meditating every day, eating and snacking healthy, being more mindful and present…

Using my phone mindfully is something I have wanted to do for very long but didn’t crack until recently. For many years, I would reach for my phone first thing in the morning, respond to instant messages throughout the day, use it to escape once things got boring, and stay up late catching up on the latest news. I would sometimes make drastic cutbacks to accommodate busy periods at work or school but otherwise continued on that trajectory.

While all that time passed, my case for change grew stronger. First, my mood and energy levels would vary unpredictably and in ways I couldn’t control. I might randomly see a tweet about a stabbing and descend into a negative spiral for hours. (I’m introverted and I become overstimulated pretty easily). Second, interrupting myself frequently meant I wasn’t producing my best work. Third, keeping up with my new workload required me to be extremely productive during the day or work late every night. Fourth, all that phone use was resulting in a lot of connection but not enough conversation*.

Life Lately: On COVID, work, and my word for the year

Victoria park on a sunny winter day. My first walk after recovering from COVID in December. I didn't leave our flat for ~14 days so I was very glad for this beautiful day.

This year has started really positively. I’ve heard a lot of good news from friends and family, ranging from new boyfriends to new jobs and babies, and it is so exciting that good things continue to happen for people despite the pandemic. I hope that there continues to be more good news than bad news as we go through the year.

I’ve had a pretty strong start to the year myself. After getting quite sick with COVID over Christmas and being very frustrated that I could not travel to Nigeria or the UAE, I’ve again come to terms with the world we now live in. I say again, because it seems to be a cycle. I come to terms with it, then I’m tired of it, then I remind myself I can’t change the situation but can change my attitude to it and so I come to terms with it, and then the cycle repeats.

On Leaving Home

Murtala Muhammad International Airport at night. Picture by me.

This is the longest I have been away from Nigeria at a stretch and it shows. Everything reminds me of home.

This morning, the buzz of a lawnmower and the leafy smell of freshly cut grass remind me of my father and his incessant mowing of our outsized lawn. Ibadan.

Close the door to keep the smell out and the lawnmower’s buzz morphs into something resembling the cacophony of electricity generators. Lagos.

Home never leaves you.

#BlackOutTuesday - Heal The World

The past few days have been challenging and emotionally draining on many levels that form part of my identity as a person.

As a Nigerian man, I have been confronted with news of senseless violence and rape perpetuated by a group of Nigerian men. Vera Uwaila Omozuwa, 22, was attacked while studying in a church, raped, and left for dead.

As someone who calls Lagos home and looks forward to moving back there, I have had to process yet another untimely death at the hands of police officers sworn to protect the people. Tina Ezekwe, 16, died from a gunshot wound that sounds like it was treatable if emergency care had been more effective. She was shot in the left leg and survived two days in the hospital before dying.

As a black person living in a majority-white country, I have seen yet another black person die an undignified death. George Floyd, 59, died under the knee of Derek Chauvin, a policeman. He died begging for his life, pleading for a breath, and calling for his mother.

It is tiring.

Thoughts From Lockdown: On Pandemics, Slighted Gods, and Public Policy

Deaths from the 1918 flu pandemic in colonial Nigeria

I recently finished Laura Spinney’s Pale Rider, a book about the 1918 flu pandemic and its impact on the world. I have been thinking about the current pandemic and I wanted to share some of my thoughts. Let’s dive in.

**1**

There will be more pandemics. There are many viruses lurking in reservoirs such as bats, waiting for an opportunity to cross to humans. As more people eat exotic animals and come into closer contact with wildlife, there will be more interactions that open the door to zoonosis.

A zoonosis is a human illness caused by a pathogen that has crossed from nonhuman animals. Ebola is a zoonosis, having crossed over from bats. Lassa fever, the Zika virus, and all influenzas are zoonoses. AIDS has zoonotic origins, crossing from chimps to humans before mutating into a human-only disease.

How to thrive at life and work in the age of COVID-19

You can hardly look anywhere these days without being inundated with news about COVID-19. I wrote one more article related to the virus, but not to spread fear or tell you “what my business is doing to ‘keep you safe’”. I wanted to share a few tips for keeping your head up in the age of COVID-19.

1. Manage your headspace. Do you really need to know right away that one more person in South Africa has been diagnosed with COVID-19 within the past hour? Except you work in Infectious Diseases or were planning to holiday in South Africa, the answer is likely no. So why are you glued to Twitter or CNN gorging on the latest updates? If you find that you’re constantly stressed as a result of all the news, consider taking a step back. Mute certain keywords and accounts on Twitter, snooze people for 30 days on Facebook, and limit your ‘COVID-19 news’ consumption to key programs and reputable sources for a limited time everyday. Do other fun things that are good for your mind: watch your favorite TV show, read a good book, or play some games!

My Skin Is Black: On Africans and Black People from the US, Britain, and Elsewhere

Jay Z lyrics are from The Story of OJ (4:44, July 2017). The background picture is from Beyoncé and Jay Z's On The Run II tour in Paris.

A few weeks ago, someone came to our flat to fix a toilet leak. While kneeling by the toilet to diagnose the leak, he looked up at me and asked twice "are you sure nobody has been standing on the toilet seat?". I thought it was funny and laughed it off both times. "Of course nobody has been standing on the toilet seat".

Shortly after he left, I started to think that was a weird question. Then I realized it may have been racist. After all, he likely wouldn't ask a white family if they had been standing on their toilet seat. I told Busola about it later that evening and we discussed how slow I had been to recognize his racism. I also told a few friends who had moved to Europe over the past few years, and they were like "oh that was racist. Mschew*. Next time respond like this..."

Then I told a Black British acquaintance, and he was livid! He got so pissed and went on about how it was really bad behavior. I was intrigued by his response, so I told another Black British acquaintance. The second response was even more volatile. He took his annoyance one step further by getting upset with me for not detecting the racism and calling it out.

How to make something of your life? A simple and practical guide

I don’t like motivational writing and I had second thoughts about writing this. The more I thought about it however, the more I felt I should. If it gets just one person to act differently, then it is worth it.

My friend from university, Tobi Ogunsina, will be 30 in a few days. She started a countdown on Instagram and I found myself looking forward to her daily posts. We spoke recently, and our conversation got me thinking about the passing of time and how one makes something of their life. Writing this followed from there.

My friend from university, Tobi (Akinbo) Ogunsina, will be 30 in a few days.

How does one make something of their life? Is there a road map for making the most of your talents and skills? I will present a simple and actionable framework based on my limited experience and learning from books and people. It is so simple that there is nothing here you didn’t already know.

Life Lately: On Dangote, P1 Updates, and A Blast from the Past

I have made peace with a few things. One is that I will not write frequently this year. Another is that many of my posts - when I manage to write - will be about INSEAD. One way to put a positive spin on this is that most people who know me want to read about how I am engaging with this year...

I tried really hard two days ago to write about Dangote Cement, and how interesting it is that their revenue went up 30% in Nigeria despite selling 16% less cement in 2017 (at some of the highest profit margins in the world). But - as is so often the case, I could not rationalize spending all that time writing about Dangote given all the other things I had to do: cases to read, cover letters to write, assignments to turn in, CVs to update for the umpteenth time, career next steps to think about, alumni to reach out to, etc etc. It is an endless list, to be honest...

All hail the king!

Life Lately - What I've Been Up To...

Perpetual state of mind - LOOOOL

I made sixteen posts on this blog last year. That was the lowest number in the nine years since I started the blog. I did a lot of writing last year though, especially essays applying to b-school and to multiple scholarships…

I thought I would write more this year, but I now know that will not happen. For one, the reality of a one-year MBA is proving to be very different from the idea of one. All the blogs I read and the many alumni I spoke to told me this would be an intense year, but I still managed to underestimate the intensity. Between classes, tutorials, pre-read, cases, and group work from Monday to Saturday – your life outside INSEAD starts to disappear.

Of Passion & Determination! This Inspiring Story of Mogbekeloluwa Koye Ladele’s Journey to INSEAD is a Must READ

I shared my story in long and short form on Bella Naija. It is short because it is all in one post; my life’s story could easily fill one or two books. It is long because I condensed many things into just over a thousand words.

I was not sure how much to share in this post. I ultimately decided to share enough to encourage 15*-year old me (heading off to OAU) and other young people.

So, here’s a link. If you like it, feel encouraged, or feel challenged - drop a comment or share. If you want to talk, message or email me. It may take a while, but I’ll get back to you.

Cheers to the weekend.

2018: Embracing Love & Following Dreams

#TheKBWedding was easily my favorite day in 2017

One night in July, my mentor sat across a table from me and listened as I said I would not go to INSEAD if I did not get a €50,000 scholarship. I talked about how expensive it was, and how the Naira’s devaluation had affected my plans. She let me finish, then told me she thought I would get the scholarship, discussed alternative financing approaches if I did not get it, and told me she thought I should follow that dream.

As my faith strengthened and waned in turn over the following months, conversations with Busola, my closest friends, and my other mentors, reinforced my belief and kept me going through the agonizing wait for the emails from the school. After I received the email communicating the scholarship, we shared many hugs, laughed excitedly, and I was reminded how fortunate I am to have such a strong support system. The people in my life have been a huge part of everything I have done so far, and will be huge enablers for what is still coming.

As a child growing up in Ibadan, I read about Janus - the ancient Roman god of beginnings, transitions, and endings. Strikingly, he was depicted as having two faces, looking both to the past and the future. As I sit here channeling my inner Janus at the end of 2017 and the beginning of 2018, I keep thinking about two concepts: people, and dreams.

2017                                                                          2018

Thank you, Procter

April 2012 with Carole; waist size - 30

Sometime in 2010, I sat in a car with Deji Adesina as we made our way along Road One. Bordered by tall trees, Road One invites you into the Obafemi Awolowo University campus, twisting and turning through large expanses of grassland before spitting you out in front of the Student Union Building. I had asked him what it was like to work at P&G, and after talking about how awesome the company was – he said the words that have rung in my head all week.

“Isé P&G o kín tán. My work never ends. If I stayed in the office all day, it would not end. I pick what is really important, and focus on that”.

As I walk into the office today, seven years later, I find that I cannot stop thinking about the many things I have not done: the tasks I did not yet get to, the projects I have not closed. It is with great effort that I put my mind to remembering other – beautiful – memories.

From 2007 to 2011, there were few things I wanted more than to work at P&G. I always wanted to start work right after university and P&G offered that. I was not sure what type of work I wanted to do, but I knew I wanted to work at a company whose products or services touched everyday life and made it a little easier. I got all that and more after I joined P&G in March 2012. I always felt respected and well-paid for the work I did. I loved the culture and the many efforts the company made to support me. (I wrote the most-viewed answer on Quora to the “What is it like to work at P&G” question). My colleagues were mostly smart and good people, and I found many friends here.

For Tolu… Death is a Bastard (II)

The last time I really spoke to Tolu, I was declining her request to take a picture with just me and asking her to join a group picture instead. During my 2012–2013 NYSC posting at her school, I was very conscious of my position as a teacher and Youth Corps member and was careful to avoid doing anything that could be misconstrued. I saw her after then, at her Valedictory Service in 2015, and she didn’t want a picture with me because “sebi you’ll say no”.

I wish we took that picture she wanted.

The group picture Tolu did not join

Tolu sitting in front of the class

#TheKBWedding: On Becoming Busola’s Husband

I have married Busola many times; more times in fact than I can count.

I first married her on a rainy day in 2010 when she asked my opinion on which one of two guys to date (I wasn’t one of the two). I married her again during a final year exam where I began listing pros and cons of being with her after I ran out of answers (I still managed an A). I married her in the mirror many times before I first asked her to date me in 2011. And I married her many more times since then – even when I was ranting to Oggie, my big sister, about our latest spat.

Those dreams come true for the second time today. When you read this, I will have married Busola traditionally and religiously – in addition to the legal marriage in February.

December Randoms:: Life, 2016 Prophecies, Christmas...

It has been a crazy couple of weeks.

I have been very busy and constantly stressed. I frequently skipped breakfast, drove faster than usual, and slept less. I couldn’t be more grateful for this long weekend, as I finally get to spend quality time alone or with family – with the phones turned off.

I got on quite a roll in November and planned to read and write even more in December, but life had other plans. Here goes a few random thoughts I've been wanting to share all day.

**1**

One year ago this morning, I walked away from this – dazed and grateful.

I had a few bruises, nothing major, and recovered the total cost of the car. It turned out to be a great reminder of my mortality, and helped me re-affirm my commitment to live.

I first thought I wouldn’t drive on the Lagos – Ibadan expressway for years, but I have since made the trip multiple times – including one this morning ☺ ☺.

**2**

I spent some time working from and for our office in Nairobi this year, and I think it is a beautiful city. I love that there are lots of natural spaces sprinkled around the city, and it felt quieter and less hurried than Lagos. I also think the people are nice and welcoming, but not as friendly as Nigerians ☺.

I got the chance to discuss politics in Nigeria and Kenya with a brilliant colleague, George Owuor, and came away with the realization that many young Africans want the same thing: public institutions that work and a decent chance at earning a better life through diligence. I also met his family – and maybe I’ll write more about them subsequently.

And – thank you, Oghale, for being such an amazing host. You’re the best!