When your new girlfriend starts to seem more and more like your last girlfriend, know that it’s not because they are all that similar as people, but that their having been your girlfriend has shaped them, bringing out certain facets of their personalities... Own this fact, and you’ll know what to expect from your next beau. In fact, you met her when you met your first girlfriend ever. The same goes for the new company you’ve just started at, and your new boss there, and colleagues—soon you’ll see them becoming like your previous bosses and workmates, and you’ll know what experience awaits you just around the corner. - Anyan, Hu. I Deliver Parcels in Beijing: On Making a Living (pp. 187-188). Kindle Edition.
2008 was the last year that ended without me posting any of my writing to the internet. I was in my second year at university, George Bush was the US President, and the BlackBerry Curve had just launched. That feels like an eternity ago. So, when I realised last week that I had not posted anything to the blog this year, I knew I had to make time for a quick one.
For this post, I’ve gone back to the FT interview style, answering questions I’ve gotten from friends over the past few days. Here goes:
What did you read this year, and what stayed with you after the last page?
I finished 35 books in paperback or Kindle format and another five audiobooks. My reading list included familiar favourites like Morgan Housel’s Psychology of Money, James Michener’s Sayonara and Paul Kalanithi’s When Breath Becomes Air. I also enjoyed new books like David Jarrett’s 33 Meditations on Death, Dan Wang’s Breakneck: China’s Quest to Engineer the Future, and Karen Hao’s Empire of AI. At the beginning of the year, I wanted to read more “useful books”, which in hindsight was a misnomer. All books are useful. In fact, the single most important thing I learned about myself this year came from a book I wouldn’t have considered “useful” at the start of the year: Hu Anyan’s I Deliver Parcels in Beijing. As to what stayed with me after the last page, my top choice is the quote I started this piece with. Go on and read it again. It’s relevant to the next question.
What did you learn about yourself that you didn’t necessarily want to learn?
I finally accepted this year, while reading the passage above from I Deliver Parcels in Beijing, that all my jobs end up the same way because of who I am, not because of the jobs I do. While I’ve had several different jobs over the years, they all converge in the end. I end up with a diary that is booked full because I accept more work than I can reasonably expect to do and instinctively reach for new projects when any downtime appears. And I gain a reputation for high standards that comes at the cost of hours spent perfecting small details. It was liberating to realise that I have more control over my experience at work than I’d previously thought, but that was the easy half. The harder half is learning to manage my inner “insecure overachiever” and operating with more confidence and balance as I go forward.
Which moments from the year still make you pause when you think about them?
I’ll start by saying I’m really grateful to have memorable moments from this year. That’s because 2025 has been the hardest I’ve ever had to work at having a good year. With my little brother dying at the end of 2024, it took a lot of intentionality to engage with life fully this year and avoid getting sucked into the blackhole of grief and loss. I ended up getting grief therapy, which was very helpful.
One of these moments happened on the morning of Saturday April 12 when Oreofe said “I love you too daddy” for the first time with intention. Another would be sitting by the beach in Antalya watching Busola carry Oreofe, and thinking about how it felt like living a scene from one of my dreams. And yet another was a Wednesday this December that I’ll remember for a lifetime: live KWAM1 music in the wee hours, quality time with friends in Lagos, and a most magical evening.
What did you spend money on this year that surprised you most?
Urgh. This is easily my Fujifilm XT30 II. I absolutely love this little camera, and I’ve taken as many shots in eight months of owning it as I did in the first five years of owning my previous Nikon camera. I love, love, love it. The “urgh” is because I broke a personal principle when buying it. It was supposed to be my birthday present (for September), and I’d planned to set aside some money for it every month as an exercise in delayed gratification. But I found it increasingly difficult to wait, and one day in April, after looking at the product on Amazon for the umpteenth time, I just bought it. Despite all my research, nothing could have prepared me for how much I have loved this piece of kit. It’s played such a big role in getting me out of my head and returning me to creating art this year.
Where did you feel most like yourself this year?
In cities. When I last did one of these interview-format posts in 2022, I was looking forward to moving to a “lovely house just outside London with several bathrooms, a nice garden, and a shed where I can tinker to my heart’s content while listening to music from a record player.” I got everything I wanted, but I’ve also since learnt that I’m a city person. While the quiet of suburbia has grown on me, I’ve felt most alive in the many world-class cities I’ve spent time in this year, with my favourites being Lagos and Boston. Closer to home, I haven’t minded the return to office mandates at all as they’ve given me a reason to be back in the city regularly.
How has your relationship with friendship changed over time?
This is an interesting one. There are two changes I’ve noticed over the past few years. The first is becoming more aware of my tendency to withdraw from friendships rather than engage in debate or conflict when we see things differently. I’ve let a few friendships slide like this, and while I can’t fix the past, I’m working to ensure that I don’t lose friends in future because I didn’t want to live with a little discomfort. The second is realising that a fear of loss was adversely impacting my closest friendships. “I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you” is a really lovely line from Meghan Trainor’s Like I’m Gonna Lose You, but there’s a thin line between holding on to your friends like you might lose them and gripping them so tight that your fingernails dig into their skin.
What did you listen to this year, and what does that say about where your head was at?
Honestly, it was mostly another year of Hillsong Worship. Songs like In Control, I Surrender, and Still have been the soundtrack of my life for many years and I still reach for them when I need to play music. The new addition to my playlists this year was EmmaOMG, and how I have loved his music! I’ve known of him for several years since his “jollof music video” went viral, but I never listened to any of his music until October. I saw a lovely clip of BBO surprising him on stage at a concert and went on YouTube for a longer video. That was when I realised a majority of his act was singing worship and hymns in Yoruba, songs which are deeply interwoven with my earliest memories of family, love, and safety. His music transports me to the late 90s and early 00s, growing up in a Christian household in southwest Nigeria. He’s also expanding that space, writing new music like E Ti Tobi To. I’m going to need someone to introduce me to EmmaOMG eventually, because I need to know him in real life.
What are you most looking forward to for 2026?
I’ve been working really hard at mindfulness and being present this year, and I’d like that to carry through into the New Year. A lot of the progress I’d made in this regard was undone over the past three years as I grappled with a succession of significant life changes. A 2026 where I live in the moment, avoid an excessively future-focused attitude, and enjoy each day I get - that’s a 2026 I’m looking forward to.
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Thank you for reading, and all the best for 2026!
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