February - April Notes (2026)

For many years now, I've been posting my writing directly to Substack first, and then to this Blog as a second step. I don't always do the second step, so I wanted to post direct links to Substack for my February through April notes.

February Notes: Building Disposable Software, Buying Box Sets, and Post-Nursery Debriefs | On building tools for myself, choosing tangible things again, and translating work into toddler-scale language

March Notes: Friction, Weddings, and Toddler Logic | The case for some grunt work, wedding season, and why OG doesn't feed herself at home

April Notes: The Price of Distance, Lagos in 2026, and High Praise from OG | On staying connected to a home that doesn't wait for you, life in Lagos in 2026, and the bar for impressing a three-year-old

January Notes: Reading in the Age of AI, Backing Myself Again, and Inputs Thinking

Started the year with a quick hop to Marrakesh for OG’s birthday. It was great fun to be there during AFCON 2025.

While January often feels long after the festivities of December, this one has passed rather quickly for me. It’s not often that I arrive at the end of January with the same energy I started the year with, but that’s the case this year. I’m excited and very grateful to still wake up feeling like every day is a fresh start.

Here are a few things I’ve been thinking about this January.

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First, a quick reflection on reading and writing in the age of AI-written text. As a self-diagnosed addict to endless scrolling formats, I accepted this month that there are no safe levels of Instagram usage for me and finally kicked the app off my phone. It joined Twitter as a social network I can only access from devices I keep at home.

2025 In Review: Busyness Is Not a Badge of Honour

When your new girlfriend starts to seem more and more like your last girlfriend, know that it’s not because they are all that similar as people, but that their having been your girlfriend has shaped them, bringing out certain facets of their personalities... Own this fact, and you’ll know what to expect from your next beau. In fact, you met her when you met your first girlfriend ever. The same goes for the new company you’ve just started at, and your new boss there, and colleagues—soon you’ll see them becoming like your previous bosses and workmates, and you’ll know what experience awaits you just around the corner. - Anyan, Hu. I Deliver Parcels in Beijing: On Making a Living (pp. 187-188). Kindle Edition.

2008 was the last year that ended without me posting any of my writing to the internet. I was in my second year at university, George Bush was the US President, and the BlackBerry Curve had just launched. That feels like an eternity ago. So, when I realised last week that I had not posted anything to the blog this year, I knew I had to make time for a quick one.

For this post, I’ve gone back to the FT interview style, answering questions I’ve gotten from friends over the past few days. Here goes:

What did you read this year, and what stayed with you after the last page?

I finished 35 books in paperback or Kindle format and another five audiobooks. My reading list included familiar favourites like Morgan Housel’s Psychology of Money, James Michener’s Sayonara and Paul Kalanithi’s When Breath Becomes Air. I also enjoyed new books like David Jarrett’s 33 Meditations on Death, Dan Wang’s Breakneck: China’s Quest to Engineer the Future, and Karen Hao’s Empire of AI. At the beginning of the year, I wanted to read more “useful books”, which in hindsight was a misnomer. All books are useful. In fact, the single most important thing I learned about myself this year came from a book I wouldn’t have considered “useful” at the start of the year: Hu Anyan’s I Deliver Parcels in Beijing. As to what stayed with me after the last page, my top choice is the quote I started this piece with. Go on and read it again. It’s relevant to the next question.

For Daddy, at 61

My dad's smile lit up rooms and was one of his most attractive features.

“As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.” - r/gsnow

During the deepest depths of the waves of grief that followed my dad’s death, I sometimes caught myself wishing he hadn’t been such a good father.

You might ask why I would think such a foolish thing. Well, my grief-addled reasoning was that I wouldn’t be in so much pain or be taking such a dim view of life without him if he hadn’t been such an important part of my life to begin with.

Been long you saw me

This post was originally posted to my Substack as part of a series to ease back into writing. The episodes described below are available at my Substack and I've added links below.

Hello hello!

Long time no see. When I sent my last email in April 2022, I didn’t think it would be nearly two years before the next one.

If you know me IRL or follow me on social media, you may know I lost my dad last year and had a daughter early this year. We lost the Koye Ladele and gained a Koye-Ladele. More than a year has now passed since my dad died, but I still miss him intensely. And when I’m being honest, despite my best efforts, there are still many ways in which I am only now re-engaging with life.

Happy-ish Birthday, Koye

Earlier today, in introvert paradise. Photo credit: Mosimiloluwa Koye-Ladele.

If you’ve read one of these before, you know about my practice of writing a birthday pager: a document outlining my hopes and desires for my next birthday. Last year’s pager included a father section. I knew we were going to have a baby and I was looking forward to becoming a father.

For Daddy, at 60

With daddy on the day we moved to the UK

The last time I saw my dad in person, we both cried as I left. Me crying on leaving home was not new. I had cried on leaving most times since I first left for university in December 2006. But tears in my dad’s eyes? That was a first. He had just recovered from an illness that had felt like certain death while it lasted. He had been surprised to wake up, halfway between life and death, to find that Simi and I had flown home to be with him. He was bashfully grateful. But now he had recovered. He had care from family and the church. I needed to return to my own home with Busola.

We prayed together. I hugged and clung to him. Then I hugged my mum. And then I hugged him again. I was crying by then – filled with gratitude for his recovery and sadness that I had to leave again. Simi took pictures of us, capturing those precious moments. At the time, I didn’t realise I had held him alive for the last time.

Happy Birthday, Koye

Slowing down, in Berlin

I have both dreaded and anticipated this day for several weeks. By “this day”, I don’t mean Sunday the 11th – my birthday. I mean Friday the 9th, when I have finally begun writing this post. Except for journal entries and reams of business writing, I have not written much else since April.

Writing again after a long pause always feels daunting. But I’m here now and I’m doing it. One word after the next.

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A friend recently asked what my biggest lesson from the last three years was. There was no contest in my mind what the biggest lesson was. My biggest lesson from the last three years is one I only learnt properly since my last birthday: slowing down.

Life Lately: The slap that was felt around the world

I mentioned The Lincoln Highway, Amor Towles’s brilliant new novel, two weeks ago. When I woke up to the news this week that Will Smith had hit Chris Rock at the Oscars, I began thinking about the book again.

We are introduced to Emmet on the book’s first page. He has just been released from a correctional facility and is being driven home by the warden. Before dropping Emmet off, the warden says to him:

“…from my time with you, I can tell that that boy’s death weighs heavily on your conscience. No one imagines what happened that night reflects either the spirit of malice or an expression of your character. It was the ugly side of chance”.

We find out later in the book that Emmet punched someone, one Jimmy, on the nose after he said mean things about Emmet’s father. Not unlike Chris Rock, Jimmy mocked someone who was important to Emmet – his dad. Like Will Smith, Emmet got upset and hit Jimmy on the face. And that’s where the stories diverge. Because in The Lincoln Highway, Jimmy falls back after a single punch, hits his head, and dies.

Life Lately: Becoming Koye

Show me a better Saturday morning routine

One of my new favourite habits is reading the FT Weekend on Saturdays. It’s really nice to make a coffee and sit down to the crackle of the newspaper and the smell of ink. Every week, the FT magazine interviews a celebrity using a similar set of questions. I’ve been wanting to answer those questions for a while, so I thought I’d do so in this post. If you don’t know me personally, think of this as an introduction of sorts. (You’re welcome 😁). 

Here goes:

 

What was your childhood or earliest ambition?

I wanted to be an astronaut. I loved reading about the universe and the other planets in our solar system. I remember sitting outside our house as an eight-year-old lost in thought – reflecting on Pluto’s lonely journey around the sun.

 

Obviously, I did not become an astronaut. After I stopped wanting that, I thought I’d be a pilot. Then I wanted to be an aeronautical engineer but I could not study that in Nigeria, so I thought I’d study the next best thing – mechanical engineering. There was also a brief period where I wanted to be a neurosurgeon after reading Ben Carson’s Gifted Hands.

Life Lately: On Restarting

Reflecting on beauty last week, instead of writing 🥲

It’s so long since my last post that I don’t even know where to start. What began as a one-week break while I figured out how to incorporate writing into my post-lockdown schedule became a six-week hiatus. I must say it’s good to be writing again, and I have missed the opportunity for reflection that these weekly posts afforded me.

I also thank everyone who got in touch to ask why I stopped posting to the blog. Given my style and that the topics I cover generally don’t invite a lot of commentary, it was nice to have people reach out saying they found the content useful.

Life Lately: On Wordle - Why purple cows matter

Today’s puzzle. Sorry for the spoiler!

I did the daily Wordle a few moments ago, just before I started writing this. I often start with ‘AEROS’ and ‘TULIP’ because these two words cover the ten letters that appear most frequently in English. After guessing today’s word, I copied the grid using the Share button and posted it to Twitter.

Wordle 214 1/6

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

I want to brag but I reckon the chances of getting this right in one try are approx 1 in 12,750 and it will most likely never happen again.

— Koye-Ladele M. (@koyegbeke) January 19, 2022

Several people have said Wordle was an easy game to build. Many versions have popped up, proving the IP was not complicated. I found at least fifteen, including Wordle Unlimited (unlimited words per day), Nerdle (numbers instead of words), and Absurdle (designed to be absurdly difficult). You can now even make your own ‘Wordle’ using code publicly available on GitHub.

Life Lately: On riding out market downturns

Picture of the BT tower from a walk today. Can’t get over how beautiful it was outside today.

Last time I bought a new phone, I noticed I could either pay at once or split payments over two years at 0% interest. For clarity, the 0% interest option meant the sticker price of the phone would be divided by 24. No interest, no hidden payments.

The second option was better mathematically. Taking a 0% interest plan meant I could keep my lump sum and do something else with it. If I stuck it in the safest investment at ~ 1% per annum, I would still end up a few pounds better after two years compared to if I paid it all upfront.

But there was no way I was taking that option. In fact, I would rather buy a cheaper phone with cash than a nicer phone on a 0% payment plan. Why? Because I know myself. I knew the angst of watching the money drip out over 24 months would outweigh the few pounds I would gain or the utility of having a nicer phone.

Life Lately: On Happiness and Lifestyle Inflation

Remember how I wrote that I’m trying to write longer (and more in-depth) essays this year? Well, I’ve been working on one and I look forward to sharing it soon. Today, I’m sharing two quick things – something I wrote about happiness and a quote from Oliver Burkeman about lifestyle inflation.

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I don’t want there to be civil war in Nigeria; there isn’t. I don’t want a huge pimple on my nose; I don’t have one. I don’t want to be kept up at night by the noise of generators; I am not – (instead I am kept up at night by screeching seagulls).

When we think about the things that make us happy, the things we are grateful for, we tend to focus on the things we want and have. Good memories of departed family members. Family and friends who are still here. Our jobs or businesses. Holidays – past and future. Money in the bank.

Life Lately: Two things I'm doing differently in 2022

Finisher’s medal from a Vicky Park run in 2020

When I first started running the 5K, I did not understand pacing. After the warmup, I would start running as quickly as possible – I used to run the 100m in secondary school after all. This inevitably meant I would be out of breath after a few short minutes. I would be so exhausted that I would have to slow down to a walk or stop to catch my breath.

As time passed, I learnt the importance of pacing myself. I learnt that running slower allowed me to keep going for longer, which meant I could finish the race without stopping and still have energy left at the end. It seems obvious in retrospect, but it was a powerful lesson that helped me become a better runner.

What is more important than your 2022 goals?

A picture from my NY walk in the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park

Happy New Year 2022!

I hope you enjoyed the holidays and found some time to reflect on the past year. I also hope you found things to be grateful for. I took my own advice and spent some time on the 31st listing highs and lows from 2021. I then read the entire list out loud in gratitude.

As we head into 2022, I wanted to share a simple concept that I rely on to help achieve my goals. Whether you’re applying this to a personal or professional goal, you’ll find it significantly increases the chances that you can achieve your goals.

Life Lately: Some gratitude to end the year

The author of Luke tells a fascinating story about gratitude. While traveling to Jerusalem, Jesus encounters ten lepers and asks them to present themselves to the priests, healing them as they go. Upon realizing they have been healed, only one of them returns to thank Jesus. Jesus then remarks, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?”

When I first encountered this story as a child, I thought the nine were strange people. Think about it. Someone heals them of a devastating condition that has excluded them from society for years, and they can’t be bothered to say thanks. I was confident that could never be me. As I’ve grown older though, I have realized it is easy for good people to be ungrateful. And very often, I think that happens when we’re very focused on the things that haven’t gone as we expected.

Life Lately: What a car accident taught me about living

Seven years ago, I had one of those turning point moments. One minute, I was singing Jaywon’s “we making money, we making money, we making money this year” while driving from Lagos to Ibadan to spend Christmas at home. The next, I was dazed, grabbing the steering for dear life as the car plunged into a ditch, and thinking how sad my family would be if I died.

Thankfully, I didn’t die. The car rammed into a big tree and came to a stop. The seatbelt and all airbags worked as they should, saving my life in the process. Dozens of travellers stopped and scrambled down the ditch to help me get out of the car and stop the engine from smoking. The Federal Road Safety Corps arrived on time and made sure I was well. My friends, Mofe and Loro, who were also on the expressway, drove to the scene to pick me up.

The car was insured for more than it had cost. I had no obvious injuries. I made it home for Christmas with my family. Not much had changed externally, but a lot had changed on the inside.

Life Lately: Omicron

I am not surprised that there’s a new coronavirus variant sending everyone into a panic. The virus is doing what viruses do, mutate, and there will be many more variants before the pandemic is over. (As written before, I still believe COVID will then become endemic). Given how recently Omicron was detected, we don’t know yet if it is more infectious, virulent, or vaccine-resistant.

However, we already know many of the Omicron mutations are in its spike protein, which is what the vaccines target. If the spike protein has been changed significantly by these mutations, current vaccines may be less effective. Again, we don’t know anything for sure yet and it will be a few weeks until we do, so governments can’t do much for now other than try to contain its spread.

I’m tired of reading, thinking, and writing about COVID – but I wanted to say two quick things about Omicron. First is we should all be grateful to South Africa for their advanced sequencing capabilities. A key weapon in the global defence against COVID is our ability to quickly identify aggressive mutations and then act as needed to modify vaccines or therapeutics. South Africa was first to publicly report Omicron, not only because of significant investments in sequencing, but also because of a culture of scientific honesty. Unfortunately (although I can understand the case for it), quick action also includes limiting travel from South Africa to contain the spread. The world needs to strike a balance in responding to new variants, otherwise politicians may become incentivized to gag their scientists when new variants are found.

Life Lately: The Matthew Effect

Contemplating my future atop the Sacre-Coeur Basilica in November 2018

On this day three years ago, I was cash-strapped. I was approaching the end of my year in business school with an empty bank account. While I could look forward to a nice signing bonus, that was still many months away. In the interim, we needed to fly back to Nigeria, wait out a few months of funemployment, and spend money on our visas which I could then claim back after starting my new job. I had money – the problem was that it existed in an employment contract, not as cash we could spend.

So, I needed to raise cash. I agonized about it for days as I’ve always found it difficult to borrow money. I negotiated again with my recruiter for my signing bonus to be paid immediately. It didn’t work. My last option was to go to my friends. Three conversations and fifteen minutes later, I had all the cash we needed to cover the next few months until my first paycheck came in.