Thursday, July 26, 2012

Are men okay with their women having male friends?

He's just a friend... :)
Lately, I have been reading through Steve Harvey's 'Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man' book. I discovered this interesting thought yesterday, and decided to share it. (I have added comments in bold italics).


Question:
Are men okay with their women having male friends?


Answer (Steve Harvey):
I strongly suggest that if you're in a fully committed relationship, all the chitchat you're having with a male friend gets dialed back. Take down the college pictures of the two of you. If you must put up pictures of him, why aren't you dating him instead? Don't let him call the house or send gifts and such - particularly the ones you already asked your man for and he can't afford. Continuing this every day is just asking for trouble - and trust me, you'll get it - in the form of another girl!


Think about it: I don't care if you could only see her picture in the dark with an invisible blue light; if your man kept a picture of another woman in his personal belonging you'd lose your mind.  How would you like it if he perpetually put up the picture of another girl on his BB display picture - particularly when she's more beautiful than you are? How would you like it if he had a woman calling the house asking to speak to him? Or he accepted flowers from her? Or he called someone else when he had issues he needed to speak to someone about? Exactly.


What I suggest is that you avoid doing anything that will make your man have uncomfortable thoughts about you and someone else-sikena! Form a two-handed circle and don't let anyone else in, especially  male "friends" - you're never sure what those boys want, you know. You'll be happy you did.


Do you agree with this, or not? Do you think a woman should have as many male friends as she wants, so long as she's 'mature' enough to handle it?


The women should not talk sha, 'cause me I think they don't mind sharing their men, abi?

11 comments:

  1. me I don't mind o. my girlfriend can have as many friends as she wants. so long as I can have as many female friends as i want to and do what i want with them. same naa ni.

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    1. evidently, you don't know how to read. "I strongly suggest that if you're in a fully committed relationship". it is obvious you and this your girlfriend are not in a fully committed relationship! sikena :D

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  2. Concerned Woman26 July 2012 at 15:57

    Boys can be so jealous!
    We can't have male friends, but you can have female colleagues and even stare at their behinds when we're not looking.
    This Koye boy sef, he's sexist!
    (I love your writing sha).

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    1. Sexist...lol...
      Thank God you said female colleagues... lol.. Sure ladies too have male colleagues... abi?
      I guess it is sad that ladies don't have much to stare at with their eyes but we all know they do so much in their mind.. hehehe
      I feel if your guy doesn't feel jealous about your involvement with male friends then there is something very .........

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  3. I'm off to buy this book. It is such a great one. Have any of you seen the movie? It is showing at Ozone. www.ozonecinemas.com for viewing periods

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  4. Oh well, only if all that chit chat they have with their own "girlfriends" also reduces. You know. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. Your wife should be your best friend and vice-versa, but, hemhem *clears throat*, most times, it is the women who give up their friendships for some relationships and the men continue with their lives and their girlfriends. Hehe.

    Depends on the people involved, in the end. There is no rule out there.

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    1. Yeah, Tayo. "There is no rule out there". For me, I'm good so long as the girl is letting the guys know upfront she has a boyfriend - and there's no room for nothing... Plus that is not just in the saying, it is in the doing too... If she's got that covered, then she's good to go... If not, then I'm going to be bothered.

      I have this female friend, who even though she knows I have a girlfriend I'm totally into - still finds a way to bring up her boyfriend's name every time we have a conversation... That's super-cool... I like that!

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  5. Seriously? Well, you asked for what I think. I'm kinda biased on this issue. It has always bothered me but now, I think I can face it. One reason is that most of my friends are guys and another is that I can't keep female friends for long. As a matter of fact, I only have 2 female friends. I mean "friends" in the real sense of the word. I can't keep friends who don't share my values and all they talk about is gossips. Even you know that the bane of most females' lives is gossip and for goodness sakes, I can't stand it.
    On the other hand, however, I would say that if I love my fiance, I can't afford for him to go all jealous on me. If I do, I might not be able to keep his trust for long before he starts doubting my integrity and that, is something I cannot allow.
    But I believe in mutual understanding. We can both come to terms with everything that can threaten our friendship. I must know the girls that have once been in his life and those that are hitting on him. Likewise, he should know mine too. No secrets. We should be best friends. Then, we can both be sure that our other friendships are not more than that, no matter how they may seem.

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  6. This is so interesting but that condition shouldnt be on the lady only,she has probably known the friends all/for a huge chunk of her life. What is good for the geese is good for the gander

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